Going to far

Well I have done it. I have gone too far in my cheap crunchiness. I have converted the family to cloth wipes for the potty. I stay home all day with my son and I noticed that we go through a lot of toilet paper. Mainly this is my fault because being a pregnant women, I pee a lot. I started thinking about how much money and trees I could save if we did not go through so much toilet paper. Then I realized that I could just do what we have been doing with my son from the very beginning. He is cloth diapered so we have always used cloth wipes. It works very well for us because we just throw the wipes in to the hamper with the diapers when we use them. They just get washed all together, no big deal. Well why couldn't I do that for the grownups? So I went out to Target and bought 3 packs of 12 white wash cloths at $5 each (I did the same for my sons wipes). Then I bought a cute basket to put on the back of the toilet for 25 cents at Goodwill and away we went. We only use the wash cloths for pee and we use each one twice and then it goes in to the hamper with the cloth diapers to be washed. We use the cloth, then fold it in to its self and set it next to the basket so that the next person knows that it can only be used once before washing. We use white wash cloths because we don't use white for our body wash cloths so there is no mix up. I have to say it has worked out really well for us. My husband was skeptical at first and my mom just laughed at me but I was right. We have cut down our toilet paper use by 70% and I still do the same amount of laundry as before. It is just a bigger load now but still not a full load. So yes I have gone to far but it still saved our family some money!

It's a...

We just found out today that we are having a baby girl! We are so excited. My husband claims that he knew all along and I had been having girl dreams so maybe we did know but today we got the proof. The baby was very happy to show us the goods. She is a very healthy looking little girl to boot. I am almost 20 weeks now. We spent a very nice hour in Target's clearance section looking a girl cloths. So now we will have a boy and a girl, two years apart. This is our last child so we were really hoping for a girl. We could not be happier.

Foreign potties

We had a huge speed bump in our potty training. My son stopped going potty when we went out. He would go potty if we went to a house but no where else. He would just hold it until he couldn't and then pee all over himself. When we started potty training he would go anywhere. He even went potty at our county fair. Then out of nowhere he just stopped. I was talking with my mom about this and she said "Do you give him a treat if you go out?" I said no because I don't like carrying cookies around with me. She pointed out that that was most likely my problem. I realized that she was right. I tested the theory at the gym. He had never once gone potty there. It worked! I showed him a piece of candy corn before he sat on the potty and told him that if he went pee he would get the candy. He sat down and peed. I was so happy! No longer do I have to dread going out with him. I refused to put him back in diapers because I knew he could do it and I was right. I just needed the right tool. Bribery. I did spend a minute being worried about how to wean him off treats for the potty but I am sure it will be just like everything else with him. He weaned himself off the breast at 12 months, then the pacifier with out a fuss. I have still not figured out how to get him to poop in the potty. Maybe my mom will have another brain storm.

Next week we are going to visit my grandma in Phoenix AZ for a week so the potty training will go on the road! I am really excited that I don't have to pack diapers (cloth ones) for the trip. Since he only wears them at night, I will just use paper ones. He is down to one or no pee accidents a day and now that he will pee anywhere again, I think we can do this.

Naked buns

Potty training is turning out to be a much bigger learning experience for me then I had anticipated. When we started my son would stay dry better when we were out of the house then in the house. Now he rarely has pee accidents at home and about 80% of the time stays dry when we leave the house. His biggest undoing is when he is distracted when we go somewhere to play and he will not tell me he has to go until he has already gone. So I have found that when we go out it is best to watch the clock more then my son. When we are at home I let him run around with no bottoms because for some reason he does better that way. He went though a faze where he would have like 6 accidents a day in his undies at home but when I took them off that stopped. At home he is really good about telling me when he needs to go. I just need to watch him not the clock.

Poop is of course another mater. What makes me feel better is that it is clear that getting pee down before poo is very common. I have been trying to tell him that poop goes in the potty and letting him see when he does poop in the potty instead of whisking it away like I normally would. I think it may just take time. I do catch some poops (in the potty) but he will not tell me when he needs to go poop unlike when he needs to pee. He just stands there and gets a far away look in his eye. I call it his poop stare. I never did anything to get him to tell me when he had to pee so I guess that he will just figure it out on his own.

Day 14

We are still on the potty training band wagon. We have got it down to no more then one pee acadent a day. We are still working on the poo. My son poops mostly in his diaper at night or during nap time. Nothing I can do about that really so I try not to think about it too much. I am really quite proud of him over all. I am asked quite often how I know when he has to pee. At first I said that I didn't know, I just took him and I think it did start out that way but now I am seeing that more and more he is telling me when he has to go and when he doesn't. He will grab his crotch, point at the cookie box, or just go and stand by the potty when he has to go. I am also seeing that he is holding it longer and does not want to go early. He will often hold it for an hour now. This is really great when we go shopping.

For those that wonder if I have an advanced child I would like to point out that I don't. I (of course) think he is just the cats meow but he is really very normal. He did not start walking until 14 months, the words he says are so garbled that only I can understand him, he does not use a fork or spoon, and he only does two signs so far (eat and more). So he is really just a normal little boy. I think that putting him in cloth diapers really helped with potty training later because he knows what it feels like to be wet and what causes it.

Day 8 Poo poo problems

My son has been mostly going poo in his diaper at nap time and at night so I really did not realize that he does not want to go poo in the potty! These last two days, we take him to the potty and he goes pee, then he gets down, goes behind something and poops! It is very frustrating. I also understand that is is very common too. I knew I could not get out of this whole experience without some issue. I am not sure yet what I am going to do but I think the only thing I can do is to be more vigilant and try to catch him before he poos and put him on the potty. Oh well, the potty training continues...

Day 6

Today was a real test. We took our son in nothing but undies to the fair. He did so well! Not one acadent. We used the new traval potty that goes on top of the big potty and took him every 45 minutes to an hour. One time we went in to the bathroom and a lady said to me "There is no changing table in there!" I said "Its ok, we don't need one". Yesterday he only had one accadnt and it was with the liquid poo so I can't really blame him. Someone sugested that he might be drinking too much juice. I cut out his juice altogether a few weeks ago because the doctor sujested that it could be the cuase of the sores on his bum from his poop. It worked really well (his bum is healed!) and I have not givin him juice since, so I know it is not that. I have decided that he needs more fiber. I give him whole wheat toast but he can't eat many raw fruits or veggies because he has no molers to chew with yet. We eat a lot of beans but he hates them and won't touch them.

So I should review what we have been doing. We put him on the potty every 45 minutes or so and sign potty to him. Sometimes he tells us he needs to go but most of the time he doesn't. We give him a cookie if he goes potty but we are starting to cut down on the cookies. If he does not ask for one, we don't bother anymore. We only use diapers for nap time and bed time. We put undies on him because if he peed without undies he would not even feel it (only my carpet would). He goes on little potties and the big potty but if he goes on a little potty we put it up on a chair so he has to stay there for at least a minute. At this point I am sure that we will not be going back to diapers. It is all just fine tuning from here on out. Yah!

Day 4

Potty training has been going a lot better then I thought it would. On Tue. we had no accidents at all and my son even pooped in the potty! We went to the lake and brought our smallest potty with us and he used it with out problems. On Wed. I thought that I should see if he will let me know when he needs to go. Needless to say there were more accidents that day. He does not always let me know so I need to keep track of that myself. I have decided that at this stage he just can't be expected to tell me when he needs to go every time. He does not really talk at all but he does sign a little bit. I have been using the sign for potty forever and he knows it but he will not do it back to us. He really does not like it when he wets himself. He looks at me and pokes his undies like he is saying "Look mommy! I'm all wet!" When he does wet himself I let him know that I am not happy but not mad either.

Today went really well. We had to go to an appointment and I was really worried that he would not use the potty when we went out. I don't want to drag our little potty with us everywhere. It is small but not small enough to fit in the diaper bag. So I went to Babies R Us and found the Potette Plus. I love this thing! Love, love, love it! I did not want to get the fold up seats because they do not last and they pinch sometimes. I used the Potette so that my son could sit on the potty at the office without me holding him. It worked like a charm! No sliding and it just folds up and fits in my diaper bag when I am done. Best $15 I have spent yet. It got great reviews from everything I have read. This really takes a load off of my mind. I was really worried about going places.

The only issue I still have is that sometimes my son had liquid poop. He just can't make it to the potty when this happens. I really do not blame him for this, when I have diarrhea, I can't always make it to the potty either! I don't know if this is normal or not. I guess I will have to ask his doctor.

Day 1

Today was the first day that I ditched the diapers and started getting serious about potty training my son. He did amazingly well for his first day. I set up the paint drop cloths and put away any toys that can not be washed or wiped down (like books) and set up a potty on both floors of our house. I made sure to get my son up almost the minute that he woke up so that I could catch his morning pee and possible poo. I got his pee no poo though. All the time he was awake, he was in undies.

Throughout the day I took him to the potty about every 30 minutes or so. I had bought an egg timer to help me remember to do this (and as a cue for my son) but the minute I took it out of the box it did not work. Oh well, I did fine without it. My son did really well, every time I put him on the potty he peed or at least tried. I can tell that he is trying because everything "down there" flexes. Then I gave him his cookie. I use animal crackers as a treat for going on the potty. It seems to be working very well. A few times today he went to the potty and opened the lid or pointed to the cookie box to tell me he had to go. I caught him going behind the coffee table to poo but he is a fast pooper so I was not in time to get him on the potty. I will have to be faster next time I guess. Over all we went through 6 pairs of undies. I really did not need the drop cloths so I am going to put them away tonight. Most of his accidents were really small, you could barely tell he was wet. Overall a very good first day.

Potty training

I am going to do it. On Monday I am going to start potty training my son. I know I sound crazy, talking about potty training a 17 month old. I know that stronger, smarter moms have struggled to do what I am about to try but try I must. In March 2010 I have another baby coming and if I don't at least try to potty train my son, I will be kicking myself for months. So on Monday I am going to put down paint drop cloths, get out the Spot Shot, set up potties on both floors of the house, and put my son in undies. I have always felt that going cold turkey is best for my son.

Just so everyone does not think I am a complete nut, here is my reasoning that my son is ready. First of all we have been putting him on the potty for months in between diaper changes and he understands what it is for and will go potty in it or at least try. Second he has started to pull off his diaper when it is wet and at night wakes up to be changed if he is too wet. Third of all I have been doing a lot of researched and have come across this statistic that in the 1950s 92% of all 18 month olds were potty trained. They attribute this to cloth diapers. My son has been in cloth since birth. My last reason is that I was potty trained at about 18 months and my sister in law potty trained all three of her sons before two so I know it can be done.

Part of me is dreading this change. Lets say that things go smoothly, now I will have to think about where the potty is when we go out and it will add a whole new dimension to traveling. Part of me is excited though. I have always enjoyed a challenge and I have always done things differently then other people especially when it comes to raising my child (cloth diapers, home birthing, Hypno-birthing and so on) so I am used to people thinking I am strange or that what I am attempting is a bit crazy. I plan on writing all about my potty training adventurers right here so that others can learn from my successes and failures.

Surprise!

So I found out that we are expecting another baby. I am two months pregnant as of now. It was a huge surprise for the whole family. I really wanted another child but my husband was sure he only wanted one so I was hoping that if we waited a few years he might change his mind. So I guess that our minds were made up for us. This will be our last child. My husband is getting fixed after this baby is born. I am looking forward to having another baby although I have misgivings about having it so close in age to my son. They will be two years apart and I was really hoping for more like a three year gap. Right when my son starts to say no and have full blown tantrums, I will have a newborn. Sounds like fun right?

This time around I have health insurance which is really wonderful. It is such a load off to not have to worry about every test so much and what it cost. I know what everything cost ahead of time. I have picked out a wonderful midwife and will be doing another homebirth. I really enjoyed having my son at home and can't wait to do it again. I will be using Hypnobabies again too. I have so much to do to get ready for this baby but this time it all centers around my son. I have to get him potty trained before the new baby comes. I don't want to do cloth diapers for two children at the same time. I have to get him a big boy bed and get him to sleep in it. Those two things loom large in my head as huge undertakings that I am not looking forward to. I am sure that they will give me lots to write about though!

Birthday presents

Now that I have a child of my own, I find that I am getting more and more invites to other children's birthday parties. I love parties. I love the cake and ice cream, and the food and the other adults chatting away. The thing I do not like is the present issue. In my family, when we invited friends to a party my mom always made it clear that no presents were necessary. She never wanted someone to feel they could not come because of lack of money to buy a present. I got plenty of presents from my relatives and never really noticed the lack of presents from friends. I also was not expected to bring presents to my friends parties.

So the first time my son and I were invited to a party, I did not bring anything. Boy did I feel crunchy. Everyone else brought lavish gifts for this kid and I had nothing. We left right before presents were opened so that no one would notice. On my way home I started thinking though, is the fact that the parent provides cake and ice cream mean that I (as the guest) am obligated to provide a gift? Right at this moment we are doing well with money but at the time my husband (the sole income maker) was unemployed and had been for months. It was just not feasible for us to go and spend even $5 on a gift when we had only enough to pay our bills and not a penny more. So does that mean that I should have just said no to the party? Are birthday parties only for guests who can afford it? I really don't like to talk about our money with people but I also did not want them to think that we were rude.

Honestly at first I thought these parents were rude! Why did they expect everyone to bring their child presents when they were not even related to the child? I did not realize that what my mom and my friends had done was unusual. My friends have set me straight about that issue. None the less, I have decided that for our son's birthday parties, we will request no presents. I don't want anyone to feel the way I did that day, especially with so many losing jobs or hours. For the future though, I have decided that I will give books as presents. I do believe that one can have too many of a lot of things but books are not one of them. Borders has a bargain children book section ($2-5 a book) so I will get some books and stash them away for all of the birthday parties we have yet to go to. This way I am following what culture in this part of the country demands and not breaking my budget at the same time.

Going to the chapel part 2

3. If your heart is not already set on a Church where this is out of the question try to have the reception and wedding at the same place. It will save time and money because you only have to book one space. No worries about timing, limos or traffic. This works well for outdoor weddings.

4. If you would like to be married outdoors, check out your local parks. Many cities rent out the gazebos, cottages, pagodas, ect. for weddings and events for very reasonable prices. Beware of places that schedule events back to back. I have worked in buildings that did this for weddings and events and sometimes events got scheduled too close together and the wedding guests would end up getting kicked out too soon.

5. Shake your family tree and friends down for skilled people to help with the wedding. We had friends take care of our cake (we only paid for the ingredients), be our DJ, and be our officiant. Be sure to check that they really are skilled at the task they are offering though. Our friends were glad to help and looked at it as a wedding gift to us.

6. Consider making your reception a potluck. This may sound strange but for us who had been living together for 2 years, it did not make sense for us to register for more stuff. We did not need anything, so instead we asked that people come with a dish of food. We provided the plates and such and hamburgers and hot dogs. Our family and friends provided the rest. It saved us so much money in catering bills and the food was really wonderful. This is often cheaper for the gusts too.

Going to the chapel

Wedding season is here! I love weddings but it drives me crazy how expensive people can make a simple declaration to spend the rest of your life with someone. If you want a very expensive no holds bared wedding then power to you, but if you are looking for cheap wedding ideas that don't leave you wanting more then you have come to the right place. I had a wonderful wedding that cost about $2000. I had the teared cake, beautiful outdoor landscape, dancing, food, and great pictures. So here is how I did it.

1. The most important thing we did to save money was to have our wedding on a Thursday. Not having the wedding on the weekend saved us so much money. It saved on the place we rented, the photographer, and the honeymoon. For us even a Friday was considered a hot day. So Saturday, Sunday and Friday were out. Having our wedding on a weekday saved about $50 an hour on the place and about $1000 off of our photographer. Wedding photographers do not usually work weekdays so any work on those days is considered extra. They are willing to make really good deals when they have nothing better to do. Plus the photographer had no other weddings to do that day so we could pressure him to stay for the whole wedding without paying extra.

2. Keep the guest list small. Under 100 people is good, under 50 is even better. Do you really want to entertain all of those people? Here is something that I have learned from listening to so many brides, the more people you have at the wedding the more stressed out you will be and the less you will enjoy your big day. Really, I have met so many ladies that say that if they could do it over again, they would have invited less people. If there are too many people, then the bride and groom spend the whole reception, greeting people and have no time to eat or relax. So do you really need to invite your neighbors, coworkers, old friends you have not spoken to in years? Consider it carefully.

To be continued...

Self Weaning

Many times I have been asked by well meaning relatives "So when are you going to wean your son?" I always reply "I am going to let him self wean". It sounds really simple right? You would think that there would be no heart ache and conflict when you let the child decide to wean on his own but sadly, for me this was not the case. My son is now a year old and he has a very good grasp of how to feed himself and how to drink from a sippy cup. I have no worries about his nutrition. I thought he would wean somewhere around 18 months or so. It came so much sooner then I would have liked.

At around 11 months he started to lose interest. Then after his first birthday I realized that he could not care less if I nursed him at all. One day I went to nurse him and he really was not interested. I told myself "Well, maybe it is phase. He will be more interested tomorrow" Wrong again. It went on like that for a week until I realized, my son did not need my milk anymore. I can not even explain how strange it is that my breasts are back to being just decorative. I am one of those people that likes to feel useful and so it was wonderful that for a while my son really needed me. Now I feel replaceable. I did not feel any of the relief that other moms had described feeling. My husband was really wonderfully supportive. He let me cry on his shoulder and told me that no one can replace me in my sons life. He made me feel much better but sometimes I still get choked up about it.

Then one day my son bumped his head on something and started crying. I picked him up like moms do and held him to chest. He put his head on my shoulder and stopped crying. Now this may seem normal for most kids but my son has never been a snuggler. He always squirms out of my arms when I go in for a kiss or a hug but this time he was snuggling me! Then I remembered how it felt to be held by my mom when I was sad. I always loved being in her arms. It was then that I really understood that a mother really can't be replaced. What a relief!

Love Your OB or Midwife? Hate Them? Let Everyone know!

I came across this survey and thought it was a great idea so I will share it with everyone. As you all know, I am all about being thrifty but part of being thrifty is choosing to spend your money wisely. I find it very frustrating that I can look up the ratings of a new TV but I can't look up the ratings of a doctor or midwife. When it comes to birth, whether you have health insurance or not, you will probably have to spend some money when everything is said and done. So why can't I get a quality review? Well now you can! The Birth Survey lets you look up the ratings for doctors and midwives that other women have rated. I think this is a really great idea but it takes some effort on your behalf so that more doctors and midwifes will be rated. The survey is anonymous and takes about 30 minutes depending on your answers. Did you have a wonderful experience with your doctor or midwife and want to encourage more woman to see them? Or maybe you had an awful experience and want everyone to stay away from that person. Either way let everyone know about it! We (women) as consumers of birth care deserve to know the quality of our caregivers.

High Risk Pregnancy with No Health Insurance

So you just found out that for whatever reason, you have a high risk pregnancy and you have no health insurance. The first thing you should do is look in to getting state insurance. Even if you have already tried, please read what I have to say because you may yet find out that you qualify for something or more then they gave you. I was very blessed with my pregnancy in that I had no complications that came up. I did however discover that the path to getting health insurance from your state is a lot more complicated then the workers that “help” you to get this insurance would make it seem. After the birth of my son (at home) I had post labor hemorrhaging. My midwife took care of it but I did have to go to the hospital to get a blood test done to see if I needed a blood transfusion. It turned out that I did not but what I did get was a nice bill from the hospital for $3300 for the room I stayed in for 2 hours (I should have gotten a lot better service for that price, can you say penthouse?) and a blood test. I also got a phone call from this wonderful lady that worked with the hospital that showed me how to qualify for state insurance to pay for my bill. I live in Washington State so I do not know the universality of my advice but I think that everyone should at least take a look at it.

1. After you have applied to get the state insurance and they deny you or give you a “spend down” pick up the phone and give who ever is in charge of your case a call. Ask them questions! If you were denied, ask by how much, ask if they do spend down amounts (it is like a deductible), ask if you can reapply if your income changes, ask anything that you can think of! I did not do this and paid the price. I was put on a spend down of $4500. This would be nothing for a typical hospital birth but it was a lot of money for me. If you have a high risk pregnancy you really need some insurance so ask. The workers may or may not just tell you these rules. I know the guy I worked with did not tell me anything I did not ask about.
2. Once you have the insurance, it can not be taken away. My husband works a job that pays him by the hour. Some months he gets a lot, some months he gets a little, it just depends. I did not understand that if I could do without a little one month and qualify, that it would not be taken away from me the next month if he made more money. All I would have had to do is have my husband work no overtime one month and reapply. We would have been in and I would not have had to pay for anything else. So if you don’t qualify by just a bit, consider cutting your work hours a little for one month, then reapply.
3. Even if you have just had the baby or are close to having the baby apply or reapply. Don’t wait. In my state you only have 60 days to apply. If you are able to get the insurance for the month of the birth, even if it is past that month, the state will cover all charges that month. It is not like commercial health insurance, it is retro active to the time the coupon is for. Most of the charges you have will have come from the birth itself.
4. Even if you get a spend down reapply if there is any change in your income. Getting your spend down lowered will save you month so it is worth the trouble.
5. If all else fails and you have a big bill on your table call the hospital. My hospital had a woman that was in charge of getting pregnant women and children insurance though the state. It is so great having someone like that (that knows the system) on your side. They are there to help so let them do their job.

I hope this helps someone. Hopefully someday, all of my advice will be obsolete because no one will be without health insurance of some kind but until then good luck! If anyone else has tips (maybe from other state systems) I would love it if you would share them.

Pregnant with no Health Insurance

I have to say, it is really scary being pregnant with no health insurance. I was at my first job out of college and was going to get health insurance after 90 days when I found out I was pregnant. We did try so it was not a shock but it was a shock to lose my job a month later. As most people know, you can not just go out and buy health insurance when you are pregnant. It is considered a pre-existing condition and therefore you have to wait nine months to have it covered. I don’t know about you, but being as I am human, my pregnancy did not last more then nine months. I went though my entire pregnancy without health insurance but in the end, it turned out that I could have gotten state insurance at some point. So I will go over my advice for having to go though everything with no insurance. In a few weeks I will go over how to get state insurance and how to deal with a high risk pregnancy with no health insurance.

1. Midwife, midwife, midwife – These wonderful women are a life saver for those with no health insurance If you are having a normal or even slightly abnormal pregnancy, you need to pick up the phone book, look though the internet, ask your friends, or call your local birth center and find yourself a midwife. My midwife cost me $3000 for everything. This includes all appointments, the birth and well baby check ups. The only thing it does not include is lab tests because the lab will charge their own fee for that. Depending on where you live, midwife care will run you from $2000-$5000. An OB costs much more then that and they nickel and dime you for everything. My friend got charged $10 for every stick she had to pee on to see if there was protein in her urine (which they do at every appointment). For me that was included in my midwife’s fee. You will also get much more personal care from a midwife. All of my appointments were an hour long and I never had to wait more then 5 minutes. Midwives are used to seeing patients with no health insurance so they will set up a payment plan and some give cash pay discounts if you pay by a certain date. They will normally go anywhere to help you give birth, hospitals, birth centers or your home. I should note that you want to see a midwife with her own practice, not a group of midwives or midwives under an OB.

2. Do I really need that? – You need to always be asking that question of yourself. You are going to have to do your research and find out what tests you are going to do, and what you are going to skip. Ask yourself questions like “Do I really need to get a blood test to tell me that I am pregnant?” Remember, you can refuse anything and you have to pay for every test out of your own pocket. Most of the tests midwives give are very cheap ($20-$70) and most midwives will respect your wishes to do only what is necessary. My midwife knew I had to pay for everything so we would discuss it first and then I would decide if I wanted it done. Most OBs on the other hand, do not know what anything costs and will run as many tests as they can. They do not know you have no insurance and will not remember if you tell them. To give an example, I refused the blood test they do for downs syndrome and the other two diseases, but did get the glucose test done.

3. Ultrasounds – It seems like I hear so many woman that get these done all the time. I am sorry to break it to you but unless you want to spend a lot of money, I would recommend you skip all but the 20 week ultrasound. At 20 weeks, a good tech will be able to tell if anything is wrong. Some women go without them all together and that is fine too. Your midwife will listen to the baby’s heart beat with a Doppler and will measure your belly to see how big the baby is. From what I have seen, these measurement are often more accurate then ultrasounds anyways. You don’t really need an ultrasound unless your provider thinks there is something wrong. I did pony up the $150 to see my son at 20 weeks. My husband had heart problems as a baby so we wanted to get a good look at my son’s heart to see if it was normal. It was and we found it was a boy which was great too.

4. Stay Healthy – I know that we all want our babies to be healthy but it really is important to take good care of yourself especially when you don’t have insurance. The healthier you are, the fewer tests you have to do and the less likely you will have to get special (really expensive) care for you and your child. So get out and get some exercise and try to keep the sweets to a normal amount. I know you feel like a whale but it is so worth it. My midwife said that she would start to see problems for some women that gained more then 50 lbs. I gained exactly 50 lbs and was fine.

5. Consider a home birth or birth center – I know that is seems crazy but if you are having a normal healthy pregnancy, you really should consider one of these options. You home is completely free and a birth center (if you are lucky enough to have one around) is much cheaper then going to the hospital. I had a wonderful home birth and even if I have insurance next time I have a child, I am going to plan on another one. It was so wonderful to not have to travel while I was in labor and to only have people I knew and was comfortable with coming in and out of my room. I got to labor any way I wanted to with no IV or monitors. I pushed my son out in my own time with no one rushing me or threatening me with a C-section, vacuum, or anything else. If you do your research, you will find that homebirths with a good midwife for normal women are just as safe if not safer then hospital births. After the birth of my son I started to hemorrhage, my wonderful midwife took complete care of me. She had IV’s, pitocin, and other things that stopped the bleeding and stabilized me. Midwives are prepared for the most common sorts of complications. Birth centers are great too. They are set up like hotel rooms to birth in. They do have some medial equipment if you need it but it is no in sight.

I got though my entire pregnancy paying about $3500 for everything. It came out to be $3000 for the midwife and about $500 for tests and my one ultrasound. I think that is pretty good considering that the average healthy birth (not including pregnancy care or well baby care) cost about $12000 in a hospital. I hope that this helps someone. Please feel free to ask questions if you have them. I did a lot of research when I was pregnant so I might be able to help.

No Health Insurance

First of all, having no health insurance sucks. My family has been in this situation many times. It seems like every time my husband gets hurt, we are between insurances. I even went though my whole pregnancy with no insurance of any kind. So it is safe to say that I have become well versed in dealing with this sad situation (that really no one should have to go though in a civilized country but I will not go in to that). I will present some ideas for dealing with this situation. Today’s entry will deal with general no insurance and the next entry will deal with having no insurance though a pregnancy.

1. When you get to the hospital, tell everyone you see that you have no insurance until you can speak to someone who can help you. Unless of course you are physically unable to do this, then have a loved one do it for you. Do not leave without speaking to someone that deals with people with no insurance. They are sort of like hospital social workers and their job is to help the hospital get paid. They know the fastest way to do this is not though you. These people will hook you up with the right forms and phone numbers to help you get financial aid (yes they have this for hospitals) to help you pay your bills. Depending on your income and how many other uninsured people the hospital treats that month, you can get your bill reduced or even eliminated all together.

2. If you are home from the hospital and are looking in shock at the huge bill they have sent you, pick up the phone and call the billing people. Tell them you have no insurance and they will connect you to the people you need to speak to.

3. If you have all ready been denied financial aid or your bill is not from a hospital, ask for the cash pay discount. All hospitals, doctors, and ambulances have a cash pay discount of anywhere from 10-40% if the bill is paid within 30 days. I found out that putting a big hospital bill on my credit card with 10% interest was worth getting 40% off my bill.

4. If you have lost or quit a job within 2 months that offered you COBRA after you left but you did not take it because it cost too much, get out that paper work. We all know that for the most part, COBRA is joke because most people can not afford it. Well a little known fact is that if you get hurt within the first 2 months of the job loss, you can get coverage by paying the back months premiums. Whatever they would have covered when you had the job, they will cover now. When my husband got hurt and had to be in the hospital for three days ($12,000!) the hospital paid for the first months premium for us. Then we just had to pay the current month. For us, $360 was much cheaper then paying the whole bill. You can stop paying the premium whenever you are done getting the care you need. Then on top of all that, the hospital forgave the deductible we owed. I do not know if this is unique to my state of Washington or if it is everywhere.

5. Think positive. Pray if you are the praying type. I know people think that is silly but let me tell you it is worth a try. First of all, you are already in some kind of physical distress so you don’t need to go stressing yourself out, and second of all it is free so give it a try. It has worked for me many times. We have no outstanding dept from any of the many times we have needed medical care and had no insurance.

Anyone else have to go though a medical situation without insurance? What are your tips?

Uncommon Breastfeeding Tips

There are a ton of books written on breastfeeding, as well as classes and even lactation specialists that will help you get a good latch or up your milk supply but there are a few tips that no one seems to mention before the baby comes. I found that knowing this information first, helped me continue to nurse my son (he is 9 months now) even though some challenging times. We all know that breast is best and all of that. Best of all in my opinion is that fact that breast is free! That is what makes it worth seriously considering if the whole better for the baby thing does not swing you.

First of all a myth – Breastfeeding hurts like a monkey biting you (I really did read this from a book written by a mom) Fact: Come on people, if it really hurt that bad the human race would not have survived in its current form. We would be laying eggs. Done right breastfeeding does not hurt. Your boobs might be sore for a few weeks as you get used to it and your milk comes in but it should not feel like your boob is going to fall off. If it hurts that bad, see a lactation consultant. Another myth – Formula feeding is easier. Fact: This depends on the mom. For working moms I would think they are right because pumping is rather tricky, for stay at home moms it is much easier to stick a boob in the baby’s mouth then getting up and making a bottle. There is also less stuff to haul around with you when traveling.

There are a lot of assumptions that women make when they decide to breastfeed. One assumption that should not be made is that your child’s pediatrician will help you if you have questions or problems with breastfeeding. This is not usually true. Unless the pediatrician is also a lactation specialist or has one on staff they are probably not experts on breastfeeding. Most pediatricians are what I call fair weather breastfeeding supporters. They will happily support you breastfeeding your baby as long as there are no problems. As soon as there is a problem, they say supplement with formula. Even if the problem is fairly minor, they are interested in the over all health of the child, not the extra benefits of breastfeeding to your child and your checkbook. When my son was not gaining well at his 6 month appointment, the pediatrician told me to supplement with formula. He told me that this was the easiest thing to do. Easy for him maybe but not for me. I ignored him and simply gave my son more breast milk (by offering him the boob more often) and more solids. He is doing great now, no formula needed. This doctor did not even think there was another option. If you are committed to breastfeeding, you may have to do your own research to solve your problems. Pediatricians are not the best resource.

Another thing that many new moms (even me) do not know is that just because your baby does not latch well when he is born does not mean that he will not get the hang of it possibly even weeks later. I belong to a birth board for the month that my baby was born. There are several women on the board that could not get their babies to latch when they were born. They continued to pump but stopped trying to get the baby to nurse. A few weeks later, they tried to get the baby to nurse and found that the baby had no problems! So if you find that your baby just will not latch when he is born but you kept pumping, giving nursing a try a few weeks later. Of course this will not work for all babies but it is worth giving a try. A lot of new moms wonder if their baby is getting enough milk and will offer a bottle after nursing and then if the baby drinks it, assume that the baby is not getting enough milk. Babies love to suck. That is why pacifiers are so popular. A website that explains this better is kellymom.com. That website saved me so much grief. Over all I would say to give nursing a try, and don’t feel guilty if it does not work out. I welcome any other unknown tips to help women that want to breastfeed.