Day 1

Today was the first day that I ditched the diapers and started getting serious about potty training my son. He did amazingly well for his first day. I set up the paint drop cloths and put away any toys that can not be washed or wiped down (like books) and set up a potty on both floors of our house. I made sure to get my son up almost the minute that he woke up so that I could catch his morning pee and possible poo. I got his pee no poo though. All the time he was awake, he was in undies.

Throughout the day I took him to the potty about every 30 minutes or so. I had bought an egg timer to help me remember to do this (and as a cue for my son) but the minute I took it out of the box it did not work. Oh well, I did fine without it. My son did really well, every time I put him on the potty he peed or at least tried. I can tell that he is trying because everything "down there" flexes. Then I gave him his cookie. I use animal crackers as a treat for going on the potty. It seems to be working very well. A few times today he went to the potty and opened the lid or pointed to the cookie box to tell me he had to go. I caught him going behind the coffee table to poo but he is a fast pooper so I was not in time to get him on the potty. I will have to be faster next time I guess. Over all we went through 6 pairs of undies. I really did not need the drop cloths so I am going to put them away tonight. Most of his accidents were really small, you could barely tell he was wet. Overall a very good first day.

Potty training

I am going to do it. On Monday I am going to start potty training my son. I know I sound crazy, talking about potty training a 17 month old. I know that stronger, smarter moms have struggled to do what I am about to try but try I must. In March 2010 I have another baby coming and if I don't at least try to potty train my son, I will be kicking myself for months. So on Monday I am going to put down paint drop cloths, get out the Spot Shot, set up potties on both floors of the house, and put my son in undies. I have always felt that going cold turkey is best for my son.

Just so everyone does not think I am a complete nut, here is my reasoning that my son is ready. First of all we have been putting him on the potty for months in between diaper changes and he understands what it is for and will go potty in it or at least try. Second he has started to pull off his diaper when it is wet and at night wakes up to be changed if he is too wet. Third of all I have been doing a lot of researched and have come across this statistic that in the 1950s 92% of all 18 month olds were potty trained. They attribute this to cloth diapers. My son has been in cloth since birth. My last reason is that I was potty trained at about 18 months and my sister in law potty trained all three of her sons before two so I know it can be done.

Part of me is dreading this change. Lets say that things go smoothly, now I will have to think about where the potty is when we go out and it will add a whole new dimension to traveling. Part of me is excited though. I have always enjoyed a challenge and I have always done things differently then other people especially when it comes to raising my child (cloth diapers, home birthing, Hypno-birthing and so on) so I am used to people thinking I am strange or that what I am attempting is a bit crazy. I plan on writing all about my potty training adventurers right here so that others can learn from my successes and failures.

Surprise!

So I found out that we are expecting another baby. I am two months pregnant as of now. It was a huge surprise for the whole family. I really wanted another child but my husband was sure he only wanted one so I was hoping that if we waited a few years he might change his mind. So I guess that our minds were made up for us. This will be our last child. My husband is getting fixed after this baby is born. I am looking forward to having another baby although I have misgivings about having it so close in age to my son. They will be two years apart and I was really hoping for more like a three year gap. Right when my son starts to say no and have full blown tantrums, I will have a newborn. Sounds like fun right?

This time around I have health insurance which is really wonderful. It is such a load off to not have to worry about every test so much and what it cost. I know what everything cost ahead of time. I have picked out a wonderful midwife and will be doing another homebirth. I really enjoyed having my son at home and can't wait to do it again. I will be using Hypnobabies again too. I have so much to do to get ready for this baby but this time it all centers around my son. I have to get him potty trained before the new baby comes. I don't want to do cloth diapers for two children at the same time. I have to get him a big boy bed and get him to sleep in it. Those two things loom large in my head as huge undertakings that I am not looking forward to. I am sure that they will give me lots to write about though!

Birthday presents

Now that I have a child of my own, I find that I am getting more and more invites to other children's birthday parties. I love parties. I love the cake and ice cream, and the food and the other adults chatting away. The thing I do not like is the present issue. In my family, when we invited friends to a party my mom always made it clear that no presents were necessary. She never wanted someone to feel they could not come because of lack of money to buy a present. I got plenty of presents from my relatives and never really noticed the lack of presents from friends. I also was not expected to bring presents to my friends parties.

So the first time my son and I were invited to a party, I did not bring anything. Boy did I feel crunchy. Everyone else brought lavish gifts for this kid and I had nothing. We left right before presents were opened so that no one would notice. On my way home I started thinking though, is the fact that the parent provides cake and ice cream mean that I (as the guest) am obligated to provide a gift? Right at this moment we are doing well with money but at the time my husband (the sole income maker) was unemployed and had been for months. It was just not feasible for us to go and spend even $5 on a gift when we had only enough to pay our bills and not a penny more. So does that mean that I should have just said no to the party? Are birthday parties only for guests who can afford it? I really don't like to talk about our money with people but I also did not want them to think that we were rude.

Honestly at first I thought these parents were rude! Why did they expect everyone to bring their child presents when they were not even related to the child? I did not realize that what my mom and my friends had done was unusual. My friends have set me straight about that issue. None the less, I have decided that for our son's birthday parties, we will request no presents. I don't want anyone to feel the way I did that day, especially with so many losing jobs or hours. For the future though, I have decided that I will give books as presents. I do believe that one can have too many of a lot of things but books are not one of them. Borders has a bargain children book section ($2-5 a book) so I will get some books and stash them away for all of the birthday parties we have yet to go to. This way I am following what culture in this part of the country demands and not breaking my budget at the same time.

Going to the chapel part 2

3. If your heart is not already set on a Church where this is out of the question try to have the reception and wedding at the same place. It will save time and money because you only have to book one space. No worries about timing, limos or traffic. This works well for outdoor weddings.

4. If you would like to be married outdoors, check out your local parks. Many cities rent out the gazebos, cottages, pagodas, ect. for weddings and events for very reasonable prices. Beware of places that schedule events back to back. I have worked in buildings that did this for weddings and events and sometimes events got scheduled too close together and the wedding guests would end up getting kicked out too soon.

5. Shake your family tree and friends down for skilled people to help with the wedding. We had friends take care of our cake (we only paid for the ingredients), be our DJ, and be our officiant. Be sure to check that they really are skilled at the task they are offering though. Our friends were glad to help and looked at it as a wedding gift to us.

6. Consider making your reception a potluck. This may sound strange but for us who had been living together for 2 years, it did not make sense for us to register for more stuff. We did not need anything, so instead we asked that people come with a dish of food. We provided the plates and such and hamburgers and hot dogs. Our family and friends provided the rest. It saved us so much money in catering bills and the food was really wonderful. This is often cheaper for the gusts too.

Going to the chapel

Wedding season is here! I love weddings but it drives me crazy how expensive people can make a simple declaration to spend the rest of your life with someone. If you want a very expensive no holds bared wedding then power to you, but if you are looking for cheap wedding ideas that don't leave you wanting more then you have come to the right place. I had a wonderful wedding that cost about $2000. I had the teared cake, beautiful outdoor landscape, dancing, food, and great pictures. So here is how I did it.

1. The most important thing we did to save money was to have our wedding on a Thursday. Not having the wedding on the weekend saved us so much money. It saved on the place we rented, the photographer, and the honeymoon. For us even a Friday was considered a hot day. So Saturday, Sunday and Friday were out. Having our wedding on a weekday saved about $50 an hour on the place and about $1000 off of our photographer. Wedding photographers do not usually work weekdays so any work on those days is considered extra. They are willing to make really good deals when they have nothing better to do. Plus the photographer had no other weddings to do that day so we could pressure him to stay for the whole wedding without paying extra.

2. Keep the guest list small. Under 100 people is good, under 50 is even better. Do you really want to entertain all of those people? Here is something that I have learned from listening to so many brides, the more people you have at the wedding the more stressed out you will be and the less you will enjoy your big day. Really, I have met so many ladies that say that if they could do it over again, they would have invited less people. If there are too many people, then the bride and groom spend the whole reception, greeting people and have no time to eat or relax. So do you really need to invite your neighbors, coworkers, old friends you have not spoken to in years? Consider it carefully.

To be continued...

Self Weaning

Many times I have been asked by well meaning relatives "So when are you going to wean your son?" I always reply "I am going to let him self wean". It sounds really simple right? You would think that there would be no heart ache and conflict when you let the child decide to wean on his own but sadly, for me this was not the case. My son is now a year old and he has a very good grasp of how to feed himself and how to drink from a sippy cup. I have no worries about his nutrition. I thought he would wean somewhere around 18 months or so. It came so much sooner then I would have liked.

At around 11 months he started to lose interest. Then after his first birthday I realized that he could not care less if I nursed him at all. One day I went to nurse him and he really was not interested. I told myself "Well, maybe it is phase. He will be more interested tomorrow" Wrong again. It went on like that for a week until I realized, my son did not need my milk anymore. I can not even explain how strange it is that my breasts are back to being just decorative. I am one of those people that likes to feel useful and so it was wonderful that for a while my son really needed me. Now I feel replaceable. I did not feel any of the relief that other moms had described feeling. My husband was really wonderfully supportive. He let me cry on his shoulder and told me that no one can replace me in my sons life. He made me feel much better but sometimes I still get choked up about it.

Then one day my son bumped his head on something and started crying. I picked him up like moms do and held him to chest. He put his head on my shoulder and stopped crying. Now this may seem normal for most kids but my son has never been a snuggler. He always squirms out of my arms when I go in for a kiss or a hug but this time he was snuggling me! Then I remembered how it felt to be held by my mom when I was sad. I always loved being in her arms. It was then that I really understood that a mother really can't be replaced. What a relief!